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Monday, October 3, 2011

Life in a Nutshell, Part 1


I’m going to live to ninety-six-years of age. Well, just shy of it, anyway.
How do I know this? You ask.

Because I’m turning forty-eight this December.
And I think I’ve been experiencing the epic, Mid-Life Crisis.

No, after scanning through this article found upon a quick, online search, I know I’m symptomatic: Unhappiness. Boredom. Need for change.

Questioning past choices.
Anger at my spouse.
Inability to make decisions about future.
Resentment toward spouse.
Desire for a new, passionate & intimate relationship.

O! M! G!

Every. Single. One. Of. Mid. Life. Crisis’. Symptoms.
Every.

Single.

One.

I’d like to blame this most recent funk on the hormonal surge that has my face breaking out like a wet teenager’s.
I’d like to blame this ongoing feeling of the blues on anything and everything: My kids. My husband. My workload. My friends. Technological glitches.

But the truth is this: I am unhappy.

If I felt better, internally, then the rest of that which irritates me would be little more than a blip on my daily page.

I began this post on September 17, more than two weeks ago. On that day, I had a motivational moment that forced me to take the dog for a walk.

My mind and body desperately needed the exercise, the fresh air, the soothing sounds of nature.
I noted the wind rustling the leaves and the water gurgling as it, too, moved forward on its path.

The sharp CAW! of a crow pierced through my reverie, and then I noticed the quieter chirps of various other species.
And then I spotted them, this large handful of acorns.

My husband has been commenting all summer about how the acorns are scarce this year, and how the wildlife is coming in closer to our home to find food.

As I collected the nuts, one by one, I couldn’t help but notice how these seeds seem to mirror our mortal lives, which vary from pristine, to fractured by stress, to losing our tops, to being split wide open by blunt force trauma…

to be continued…

Soon…

1 comment:

  1. As you may have guessed, I relate to every word! You said it all beautifully, the phenomenon so many women of a certain age experience. I am so grateful for blogs, and for bloggers...in these increasingly fractured times, where it's harder to feel a part of something, it's great to find a community of writers and thinkers who share similar experiences.

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