On Living in the Present

Two days ago I had an epiphany:

I’ve been living in the past.

And I had no clue because I had cloaked the behavior in a thick veil of distorted language.

I was thinking about how relationships with my friends have changed in recent years.

How we are all at different emotional, physical, and social stages in our lives.

How the demands on our individual days are no longer in synch…

How I wish I could reverse time and go back to the days when one, in particular, didn’t feel so estranged.

I wish I could go back to the times we talked with ease, lingering conversations about everything, nothing, and lots of hearty laughs…

That’s when I recognized the mask over my words:

I wish I could get back to where I was five years ago, when I was in the best emotional and physical shape of my life…

back to that feeling…

that feeling of accomplishment…

back to that confidence and self-assurance…

Eighteen months ago I wrote this post detailing the success I’ve been longing for…

Two weeks ago I wrote this post about my feelings of frustration and failure.

With regard to the weight, I believed if I could replicate the actions that led to my previous success, I’d have current success.

We tend to associate living in the past as holding on to some negative event. But the truth is, living in the past means any occasion where we dwell on a previous event, be it sad or happy, negative or positive.

And now I know. My spiritual epicenter—the center of gravity that motivates and moves me—understands.

By longing for a feeling of the past, I was doing disservice to the simple elements that I’ve discussed many times: We are constantly evolving and changing. As such, what worked for us before might not work for us this time. We must try something different.

Love him or hate him, Dr. Phil has a saying, “If what you’re doing ain’t working for ya, then do somethin’ different.”

I had said that to myself many times. Okay, Weight Watchers worked before, it’s not this time. People are raving about Atkins…let’s try that…Walking worked before, but it’s not now. Let’s try Zumba…

Until two days ago, I thought I was living in the present.

I was open to different strategies. I was trying different things. I was setting short-term, realistic goals.

I now see that my frustrations stemmed from the longing for a past feeling. All of my present decisions were being made with what-I-did-before somehow attached to it.

As all of these realizations flooded my thoughts, I remembered reading The Secret. And I thought about Byrne’s suggestion to create a vision of the weight you want to reach.

I also remember thinking the idea was a bit far-fetched.

But, hey, what I’m doin’ ain’t workin’ for me…

At that moment, I closed my eyes and envisioned the weight I wanted on the scale for my weigh-in the next morning.

Much to my pleasant surprise, I stepped on the scale the following day to that very number. Right down to the two-tenths.

Okay, before you start screaming at me through your screen about how unrealistic and harebrained this notion is, read this.

My realizations came to me early in the morning.

I spent the remainder of the day making my goal a reality:

·         I set a realistic goal, based on where I was at that moment.

·         I made sure I added cardio to the walk I had planned for the day, increasing my heart rate.

·         I ate foods I knew would help release the fluid I was retaining.

·         I made a decision and established a series of actions.

·         I set a short term goal based solely on the present…

Success breeds success. I spent yesterday and this morning with that feeling of accomplishment driving my decisions.

For the next five days, I will let the vision I have for next week’s weigh-in fuel my actions…

What about you? Have you ever found yourself living in the past? Do you have a success story to share?

Soon…