Sometimes
it’s just the littlest things that either bring us down or help build us back
up…
I spent my
entire Saturday in a hormonal stupor.
I wore a
path between the bathroom, the kitchen, and my couch.
When I wasn’t
pacing, I sat with my computer on my lap, wandering back and forth between
Facebook, my blog, and open files that need my attention.
And then
there was my handy dandy iPhone with its guilty little pleasure apps called
Dragonvale and Candy Crush Saga (Level 140 and counting.)
It’s been
quite a while since my hormones induced such an overwhelming urge to eat and eat and EAT, followed by lethargy and outright fatigue.
When Big
Guy asked us to go play tennis, it took a bit of nudging from Warren before I
finally agreed to go.
Wonderful
man that he is, he used my own words against me, actually, they are my sister’s
words that I’ve repeated many a time: “When you least feel like doing something
is when you likely need it the most.”
So,
off we went, bundled in cold weather gear and gloves to chase brightly colored
pink and yellow balls around a court.
Ten minutes
after we arrived it began spitting that white stuff!!
But it was
good to get out in the fresh air, and I did feel a little better, especially
after returning home to a good long soak in our hot tub.
In addition
to my whacked body chemistry, I was also beginning to feel sick over a
situation I had little or no control over.
The farm we
live on has a second home on the land, one that the original land owner elders
built when they sold out to their son.
As we own all
the way around the structure, we purchased the house many years ago; having
some say in who your neighbors are is better than any fence could ever be.
The family
of three plus one dog that moved in their five years ago has blossomed into two
adults, two children, and two dogs, and they’ve simply outgrown the space.
The first
time they came and talked to us about the rental, they discussed wanting to get
their financial affairs in order, to take care of the debt mistakes they’d made
when they were “young and foolish”, and to be able to buy their own place.
Each year,
when they’ve resigned the lease agreement, they’ve talked about the progress
they’d made; their pride and excitement about their progress evident in every
conversation.
It appeared
that they would have to wait one more year, but within two months of renewing
the contract with us, the bank called with the exciting news they’d been
waiting for and they found their dream home.
I
advertised in every conceivable column in print and online, hoping to secure
new tenants for the December availability.
The
holidays are the worst possible time to rent housing, especially if you are
discretionary.
The closer
November 1 came, the more worried I grew for all of us, as Warren and I certainly
can’t absorb the mortgage, and I knew this family would be hard-pressed to make
those payments, too, even though they had acknowledged their responsibility to
pay rent for the duration of their commitment.
I’ll spare
you the boring details, but after some creative thinking and negotiations, we
finally signed with a young couple who have been looking for a place just like
the home we have to offer.
Just
this afternoon, we finalized the details and as they signed on the dotted line,
I felt as if a world of weight was being lifted from my shoulders.
Once that
was done, I opened the pile of Saturday’s mail.
I couldn’t
help but smile at this greeting card!
Last week
my mother sent me this birthday wish…
The note at the top says, “76 more
days until the big 50”
But I
couldn’t help but smile and feel all warm and fuzzy inside, even more so when I
opened this most recent correspondence…
Do I feel
like 50?
Yes, my
muscles are a bit tighter than they’ve always been, and my chiropractor and
masseuse are two of my favorite people.
And, yes, I’m
also happy to finally be able to answer the question of what I want to be when
I grow up.
I’m
delighted and humbled and relieved that Warren and me and our kids survived
young adulthood and trauma and death and life’s grievances big and small.
For those
of us who have our children in our mid-to-late twenties and early thirties,
fifty is the beginning of the next chapter of our lives.
I actually
feel younger than I expected I’d feel when I imagined turning fifty with two years
to go before the Empty Nest…
That said,
I never felt anxious about it.
The only
birthday I’ve ever dreaded was nineteen, and that’s because I thought I was
going to have to morph into an adult overnight, and I had no freaking clue how
I was going to pull that one off.
A little
teaser… I’ve been debating how to open the speech I’m giving at TEDxSFA in
February, and I'm thinking about this story...
Since turning
forty-nine, I’ve been thinking about doing something grand, something I’ve
never done before, to celebrate this milestone.
As a way to stay focused on this goal, I participated in my first 5K last May and became part of The Cure.
I had
thought about going to Nigeria to visit a friend who’s teaching there, but she
doesn’t have any time off during my February break, and then there’s the little thing
called vaccinations that I hadn’t thought of far enough in advance…
But honestly,
I can’t think of any BIGGER or BETTER way to celebrate than to present my life’s
work on one of the greatest platform stages of all time…TED…
There’s no
place I’d rather honor fifty than right there, in Nagadoches, TX!
The people…good
old southern hospitality…and those endlessly bright skies!
A few days
of abundant sunshine is sure to chase away any of the blahs the dark, northeast’s
winter skies might bring.
I imagine
the warmth will be a little like these gorgeous fall flowers that greet me
every time I walk through our kitchen…
Color,
exercise, humor, relief, and my mother's love…these are a few of the Moments that offset my stress
this week… What about you? What modest Moment(s) nourished your happy last week?
Share them here and spread a little joy…
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